1 00:00:01,697 --> 00:00:02,828 ♪ Men ♪♪ 2 00:00:04,961 --> 00:00:07,355 [instrumental music on TV] 3 00:00:19,932 --> 00:00:21,412 Are you happy? 4 00:00:21,499 --> 00:00:23,980 I was before you ate that last garlic knot. 5 00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:26,069 I'm serious, I mean, don't you think 6 00:00:26,156 --> 00:00:27,810 our relationship has become a little bit predict.. 7 00:00:27,897 --> 00:00:30,160 Predictable? Yes. 8 00:00:30,247 --> 00:00:31,683 Why do you ask? 9 00:00:31,770 --> 00:00:33,511 Well, I was thinking that maybe we could.. 10 00:00:33,598 --> 00:00:35,426 ...spice things up a little. 11 00:00:35,513 --> 00:00:37,428 What'd you have in mind? 12 00:00:37,515 --> 00:00:39,343 Well, um.. 13 00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:42,607 ...I have been reading "Fifty Shades Of Grey." 14 00:00:42,694 --> 00:00:43,695 Oh. 15 00:00:43,782 --> 00:00:45,915 And I have some silk scarves 16 00:00:46,002 --> 00:00:49,266 and, uh, some duct tape. 17 00:00:49,353 --> 00:00:51,007 Do you see this taking place in a bedroom 18 00:00:51,094 --> 00:00:52,922 or the back of a panel van? 19 00:00:53,009 --> 00:00:55,577 I don't know. I'm only halfway through the book. 20 00:00:55,664 --> 00:00:56,752 Forget the book. 21 00:00:56,839 --> 00:00:57,927 What about you? 22 00:00:58,014 --> 00:00:59,363 Do you have any fantasies? 23 00:00:59,450 --> 00:01:00,756 Oh, of course I do. 24 00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:02,279 If I lived only my regular life 25 00:01:02,366 --> 00:01:04,238 I'd eat a rifle. 26 00:01:04,325 --> 00:01:06,457 Tell me one. 27 00:01:06,544 --> 00:01:07,980 Well, I.. 28 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,548 ...guess I...always wanted to.. 29 00:01:10,635 --> 00:01:13,116 ...take some naughty pictures of you. 30 00:01:13,203 --> 00:01:14,248 We could do that. 31 00:01:14,335 --> 00:01:15,684 - Really? - Yeah, why not? 32 00:01:15,771 --> 00:01:17,555 There's already a lot available online. 33 00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:22,473 What else? 34 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:23,996 Oh, well, I-I-I guess 35 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:27,652 it's a-a cliche for a guy but, um.. 36 00:01:27,739 --> 00:01:31,221 I've...always wanted to have a-a threesome. 37 00:01:31,308 --> 00:01:32,266 Okay. 38 00:01:32,353 --> 00:01:33,702 And I know it's silly. I know-- 39 00:01:33,789 --> 00:01:35,356 No, I mean, okay, we can do it. 40 00:01:38,794 --> 00:01:40,187 If you are messing with me there is no way 41 00:01:40,274 --> 00:01:42,102 I will everforgive you! 42 00:01:42,189 --> 00:01:44,365 I'm not messing with you. 43 00:01:44,452 --> 00:01:45,888 Seriously, we can have a threesome? 44 00:01:45,975 --> 00:01:47,759 Come on, you'd do the same for me. 45 00:01:47,846 --> 00:01:49,674 - Of course, I would. - Good. 46 00:01:49,761 --> 00:01:50,936 'Cause I have a fantasy of my own. 47 00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:53,635 Oh, hmm, lay it on me, baby. 48 00:01:53,722 --> 00:01:56,072 I want to have a threesome also. 49 00:01:56,159 --> 00:01:57,421 See? See? 50 00:01:57,508 --> 00:01:58,901 This is why communication 51 00:01:58,988 --> 00:02:01,208 isso important in a relationship. 52 00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:02,383 I mean, two minutes ago 53 00:02:02,470 --> 00:02:04,689 I didn't care if you lived or died. 54 00:02:04,776 --> 00:02:08,998 Now, I love you more than any man has ever loved a woman. 55 00:02:09,085 --> 00:02:13,437 You complete me but add another chick and I'll complete myself. 56 00:02:13,524 --> 00:02:16,005 - Great! - So, what's your pleasure? 57 00:02:16,092 --> 00:02:18,964 Blonde? Brunette? Someone with a little junk in the trunk? 58 00:02:19,051 --> 00:02:20,270 No, no. 59 00:02:20,357 --> 00:02:22,664 In my threesome, there's you, me 60 00:02:22,751 --> 00:02:24,013 and another guy. 61 00:02:33,588 --> 00:02:34,806 An-another guy? 62 00:02:34,893 --> 00:02:36,982 Yup. 63 00:02:37,069 --> 00:02:39,028 Boy, I don't know. 64 00:02:39,115 --> 00:02:40,986 Uh.. 65 00:02:41,073 --> 00:02:42,162 I mean, I-I never thought about it 66 00:02:42,249 --> 00:02:43,250 you know, that-that way. 67 00:02:43,337 --> 00:02:44,947 [giggles] 68 00:02:45,034 --> 00:02:47,428 Four balls, two bats and one mitt. 69 00:02:47,515 --> 00:02:50,257 - Uh.. - Could be fun. 70 00:02:50,344 --> 00:02:51,910 Yeah, yeah, but, uh.. 71 00:02:51,997 --> 00:02:53,956 ...who would the other guy even be? 72 00:02:54,043 --> 00:02:55,175 [Walden] 'Hey.' 73 00:03:00,267 --> 00:03:01,181 Oh, crap. 74 00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:06,186 ♪ Men men men men manly men men men ♪ 75 00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:09,537 ♪ Men men men men manly men men men ♪ 76 00:03:09,624 --> 00:03:12,453 ♪ Men men men men manly men ♪ 77 00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:14,498 ♪ Ooh hoo-hoo hoo-hoo ooh hoo ♪ 78 00:03:14,585 --> 00:03:17,936 ♪ Men men men men manly men men men ♪ 79 00:03:18,023 --> 00:03:20,722 ♪ Men men men men manly men men men ♪ 80 00:03:20,809 --> 00:03:23,420 ♪ Ha ah ha-a-ah ♪♪ Men ♪♪ 81 00:03:30,732 --> 00:03:32,690 ♪ Men ♪♪ 82 00:03:32,777 --> 00:03:35,302 So, you want to have a threesome with me and Walden? 83 00:03:35,389 --> 00:03:37,347 You have your fantasy, I have mine. 84 00:03:37,434 --> 00:03:38,783 Yeah, but mine's a traditional 85 00:03:38,870 --> 00:03:41,046 wholesome three-way. 86 00:03:41,133 --> 00:03:42,874 You, me and an anonymous drunken slut. 87 00:03:42,961 --> 00:03:44,267 The way God intended. 88 00:03:46,617 --> 00:03:49,403 Walden is a friend. Plus, we see him all the time. 89 00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:51,187 - So? - So it'll be awkward. 90 00:03:51,274 --> 00:03:53,015 Not for me. 91 00:03:53,102 --> 00:03:54,625 I-I just don't think it's a good time. 92 00:03:54,712 --> 00:03:56,061 I mean, he just broke up with Zoey 93 00:03:56,148 --> 00:03:57,759 and he's feeling very vulnerable right now. 94 00:03:57,846 --> 00:03:59,108 I think this would help. 95 00:03:59,195 --> 00:04:00,849 You know, he needs to get back on the horse 96 00:04:00,936 --> 00:04:03,199 and in this case, ne-e-eigh! 97 00:04:05,593 --> 00:04:07,159 Do we have a deal? 98 00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:11,163 Alright, after we have mine, we will approach Walden-- 99 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,644 - No, no, no, no. I go first. - Why? 100 00:04:13,731 --> 00:04:14,906 Speaking from experience 101 00:04:14,993 --> 00:04:16,821 once you get yours, I'll never get mine. 102 00:04:20,825 --> 00:04:23,132 I am offended.. 103 00:04:23,219 --> 00:04:24,699 ...that you would insinuate 104 00:04:24,786 --> 00:04:27,397 that I would break a sacred trust. 105 00:04:27,484 --> 00:04:30,226 I love you, Lyndsey, and if you can't believe in me 106 00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:31,619 then, then we have bigger problems 107 00:04:31,706 --> 00:04:34,012 in our relationship than whose dirty, nasty 108 00:04:34,099 --> 00:04:36,406 hump-fest we have first. 109 00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:37,538 Take it or leave it. 110 00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:38,756 [sighs] 111 00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:41,498 Take it. 112 00:04:43,805 --> 00:04:45,285 Oh, I plan to. 113 00:04:47,635 --> 00:04:49,158 ♪ Men ♪♪ 114 00:04:53,771 --> 00:04:56,470 Gorgeous day, isn't it? 115 00:04:56,557 --> 00:04:59,342 Wonder what the poor people are doing. 116 00:04:59,429 --> 00:05:01,866 One of them is asking me what the poor people are doing. 117 00:05:01,953 --> 00:05:03,433 [laughs] 118 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,654 Rich, good-looking and funny. 119 00:05:06,741 --> 00:05:09,309 God certainly gave with three hands. 120 00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:12,921 Hey, speaking of three hands, um.. 121 00:05:13,008 --> 00:05:15,880 ...there's something I-I need to ask you. 122 00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:18,709 - Sure. - Oh, boy, where do I start? 123 00:05:18,796 --> 00:05:20,537 Uh, um, okay, here's the deal. 124 00:05:20,624 --> 00:05:22,844 Um, things with Lyndsey and me 125 00:05:22,931 --> 00:05:25,890 have gotten a little stale, uh, sexually speaking. 126 00:05:25,977 --> 00:05:27,501 Everything is by the numbers. 127 00:05:27,588 --> 00:05:31,069 I get it. You're skipping right from 68 to 70. 128 00:05:31,156 --> 00:05:32,854 Exactly, exactly. 129 00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:35,247 Um, anyhoo.. 130 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:38,338 ...uh...we've come up with a solution. 131 00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:39,600 What's that? 132 00:05:39,687 --> 00:05:41,732 We're going to have a, uh, a threesome. 133 00:05:41,819 --> 00:05:43,908 [chuckles] 134 00:05:43,995 --> 00:05:47,216 Really? What? She agreed to that? 135 00:05:47,303 --> 00:05:48,913 Yup. 136 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,394 Dude, way to go. 137 00:05:51,481 --> 00:05:53,091 Yeah, yeah, it's great. 138 00:05:53,178 --> 00:05:54,658 Um, the thing is.. 139 00:05:54,745 --> 00:05:57,705 ...um, Lyndsey wants to have a sausage fest 140 00:05:57,792 --> 00:05:59,054 before the clambake. 141 00:05:59,141 --> 00:06:01,839 [both laughing] 142 00:06:01,926 --> 00:06:03,754 - That's clever. - Yeah. 143 00:06:03,841 --> 00:06:06,061 Yeah, and she-she has this crazy idea 144 00:06:06,148 --> 00:06:08,019 that before I have mythreesome 145 00:06:08,106 --> 00:06:10,544 she wants to have one of her own. 146 00:06:10,631 --> 00:06:12,284 Whoa, what, hold on. 147 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:13,764 She wants to have a threesome without you? 148 00:06:13,851 --> 00:06:16,811 Oh, no, no, I'm gonna be there, uh, uh, but with.. 149 00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:18,290 ...another guy. 150 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,466 - Huh. - Yeah. 151 00:06:19,553 --> 00:06:22,077 And the, the really crazy part is.. 152 00:06:22,164 --> 00:06:23,600 [laughing] 153 00:06:23,687 --> 00:06:25,167 ...um, uh.. 154 00:06:25,254 --> 00:06:28,083 ...that she wants the other guy 155 00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:31,129 uh, to be, um, you. 156 00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:36,439 Okay. 157 00:06:36,526 --> 00:06:37,919 Yeah, now, I-I-I told her 158 00:06:38,006 --> 00:06:39,181 that there was no way-- 159 00:06:39,268 --> 00:06:40,878 Oh, no, no, no. I'm in. 160 00:06:42,924 --> 00:06:44,447 Wh-what? What? You're in? 161 00:06:44,534 --> 00:06:46,754 Yeah, sure. It sounds like fun. 162 00:06:46,841 --> 00:06:48,408 You know, now that Zoey and I aren't together 163 00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:49,539 I don't see any reason why I shouldn't be 164 00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:51,062 doing my own thing. 165 00:06:51,149 --> 00:06:53,151 And Lyndsey's own thing. 166 00:06:53,238 --> 00:06:55,284 Probably not your own thing. 167 00:06:55,371 --> 00:06:58,156 - Well, ar-ar-are you sure? - Yeah. Why not? 168 00:06:58,243 --> 00:07:00,594 Time to shake things up, get out of my comfort zone, you know? 169 00:07:00,681 --> 00:07:02,726 Maybe slip into your comfort zone. 170 00:07:04,467 --> 00:07:05,599 Get it? 171 00:07:07,296 --> 00:07:08,732 I got it. 172 00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:11,300 Well, I guess, I guess, I should let Lyndsey know. 173 00:07:11,387 --> 00:07:12,344 [laughs] 174 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,695 Um, she'll be thrilled. 175 00:07:14,782 --> 00:07:16,218 As am I. 176 00:07:16,305 --> 00:07:17,741 Yay. 177 00:07:17,828 --> 00:07:19,613 Hey, do you.. 178 00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:20,918 You wanna do this, right? 179 00:07:21,005 --> 00:07:22,137 Oh, oh, absolutely, uh, you know 180 00:07:22,224 --> 00:07:23,617 I'm-I'm very open-minded 181 00:07:23,704 --> 00:07:25,619 uh, about sexual matters. 182 00:07:25,706 --> 00:07:26,663 After all, I-I did grow up 183 00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:28,360 during the sexual revolution. 184 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,362 Well, technically, a few years after 185 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,277 but there were still condoms and diaphragms 186 00:07:32,364 --> 00:07:35,280 layin' all over the place. 187 00:07:35,367 --> 00:07:36,717 Oh, and, uh, just a heads-up.. 188 00:07:36,804 --> 00:07:38,980 ...um...exit only. 189 00:07:41,678 --> 00:07:43,332 Nope, not even a thumb. 190 00:07:47,554 --> 00:07:49,033 ♪ Men ♪♪ 191 00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:52,776 I am so happy you said yes. 192 00:07:52,863 --> 00:07:55,170 I am honored you asked. 193 00:07:55,257 --> 00:07:56,911 Aren't you adorable? 194 00:07:56,998 --> 00:07:58,478 Not as adorable as you. 195 00:07:58,565 --> 00:07:59,870 Oh.. 196 00:07:59,957 --> 00:08:01,350 Yeah, yeah, we're all adorable. 197 00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:02,917 Um.. 198 00:08:03,004 --> 00:08:05,136 ...w-w-we need to establish some ground rules. 199 00:08:05,223 --> 00:08:06,964 Hmm, sure, like what? 200 00:08:07,051 --> 00:08:08,313 Uh, well, uh, for instance 201 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:09,837 uh, there are a few things 202 00:08:09,924 --> 00:08:11,186 that I happen to know Lyndsey 203 00:08:11,273 --> 00:08:13,493 is not exactly fond of doing. 204 00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:16,321 No, I'm good. 205 00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:17,671 R-really? 206 00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:19,063 You're good? 207 00:08:19,150 --> 00:08:21,239 With everything? 208 00:08:21,326 --> 00:08:23,459 Even the Philadelphia Dump Truck? 209 00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:26,201 Back it up. 210 00:08:26,288 --> 00:08:28,333 Beep, beep, beep, beep. 211 00:08:30,945 --> 00:08:32,163 Anything else? 212 00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:34,383 Uh, well, I guess this goes without saying 213 00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:35,645 but, uh, you know 214 00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:36,951 we're not making Band-Aids here 215 00:08:37,038 --> 00:08:40,694 so Johnson should never meet Johnson, so.. 216 00:08:40,781 --> 00:08:42,260 Well, that's true. 217 00:08:42,347 --> 00:08:43,827 Two dongs don't make a right. 218 00:08:43,914 --> 00:08:46,308 [laughing] 219 00:08:50,399 --> 00:08:51,400 Oh, oh, and speaking of.. 220 00:08:51,487 --> 00:08:53,837 Um, if you have any desire 221 00:08:53,924 --> 00:08:56,448 to stick your tongue in my mouth 222 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,189 just stick your tongue in her mouth 223 00:08:58,276 --> 00:08:59,495 and then she'll stick her tongue 224 00:08:59,582 --> 00:09:00,627 in my mouth and we'll consider 225 00:09:00,714 --> 00:09:02,193 the circle complete. 226 00:09:04,456 --> 00:09:06,067 Fine. 227 00:09:06,154 --> 00:09:07,851 It's your loss. 228 00:09:10,462 --> 00:09:12,595 Iwould like to propose a toast. 229 00:09:12,682 --> 00:09:14,815 Oh! 230 00:09:14,902 --> 00:09:18,209 Friends may come and friends may go 231 00:09:18,296 --> 00:09:21,952 friends may peter out, you know. 232 00:09:22,039 --> 00:09:23,301 But here's to us 233 00:09:23,388 --> 00:09:25,086 through thick and thin 234 00:09:25,173 --> 00:09:27,262 peter out and peter in. 235 00:09:30,482 --> 00:09:31,788 Hear, hear. 236 00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:36,010 Cheers. 237 00:09:36,097 --> 00:09:37,577 So, what do you say? 238 00:09:37,664 --> 00:09:40,580 Let's get these balls rollin'. 239 00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:45,149 ♪ Men ♪♪ 240 00:10:09,478 --> 00:10:12,089 This is okay, what we're doing, right? 241 00:10:12,176 --> 00:10:14,004 I mean, we're all consenting adults. 242 00:10:14,091 --> 00:10:15,702 Oh. Oh, yeah, sure. 243 00:10:15,789 --> 00:10:17,486 Sure. 244 00:10:17,573 --> 00:10:19,096 I mean, you know, if one of us was 245 00:10:19,183 --> 00:10:20,489 mentally impaired 246 00:10:20,576 --> 00:10:22,491 then the-the consent might be suspect. 247 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,538 True, I mean, i-if you were 248 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,758 required to wear a helmet or.. 249 00:10:28,845 --> 00:10:32,544 ...have a service dog.. 250 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:33,981 ...that might be construed 251 00:10:34,068 --> 00:10:35,330 as takingadvantage. 252 00:10:35,417 --> 00:10:36,940 Yeah, yeah, but everybody here 253 00:10:37,027 --> 00:10:38,594 knows what they're getting into, so.. 254 00:10:38,681 --> 00:10:39,595 Yeah, nobodies taking their 255 00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:42,163 pants off for a candy bar. 256 00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:43,860 Or...absolution. 257 00:10:45,949 --> 00:10:47,168 Um, so, listen.. 258 00:10:47,255 --> 00:10:49,213 ...uh.. 259 00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:50,388 ...don't feel obligated 260 00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:53,043 to bring your A game today, okay? 261 00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:54,654 My A game? 262 00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:56,525 Yeah, I mean, what I'm saying is.. 263 00:10:56,612 --> 00:10:57,569 ...you're younger than I am 264 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:58,658 you're prettier than I am 265 00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:01,573 there's...more.. 266 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,401 of you than there is of me. 267 00:11:05,273 --> 00:11:06,883 What do you want me to do? 268 00:11:06,970 --> 00:11:08,624 Well, I'm just saying we're playing on a public course here 269 00:11:08,711 --> 00:11:10,626 spot me a couple of strokes. 270 00:11:13,585 --> 00:11:14,804 You just be the maypole 271 00:11:14,891 --> 00:11:16,719 and let her run around with the ribbons. 272 00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:21,289 No, no, that is not my style. 273 00:11:21,376 --> 00:11:24,727 I'm very aggressive. I'm in it to win it. 274 00:11:27,251 --> 00:11:29,863 What do you think, boys? 275 00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:31,821 I am definitely gonna win it. 276 00:11:33,475 --> 00:11:35,999 Oh, yeah, well, we'll see about that. 277 00:11:36,086 --> 00:11:37,871 Uh, you do look beautiful, darling. 278 00:11:37,958 --> 00:11:39,263 Yeah, thanks. 279 00:11:39,350 --> 00:11:40,525 Ooh! 280 00:11:46,183 --> 00:11:49,665 This is probably bad to say but.. 281 00:11:49,752 --> 00:11:50,971 ...Zoey had an outfit like that 282 00:11:51,058 --> 00:11:52,973 she used to wear all the time. 283 00:11:53,060 --> 00:11:54,235 Well, not all the time. 284 00:11:54,322 --> 00:11:57,238 Just when we were having sex. 285 00:11:57,325 --> 00:11:59,719 Which was pretty much all the time. 286 00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:02,025 I'm sorry, sweetie. 287 00:12:02,112 --> 00:12:03,070 Oh, I guess we're starting. 288 00:12:03,157 --> 00:12:05,550 Okay, uh, um.. 289 00:12:14,124 --> 00:12:16,257 You know, I-I, um.. 290 00:12:16,344 --> 00:12:18,389 ...I not only loved Zoey. 291 00:12:18,476 --> 00:12:20,522 I also loved her daughter. 292 00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:22,132 That is beautiful. 293 00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:36,190 I kinda thought we were gonna be family. 294 00:12:36,277 --> 00:12:38,714 We're your family now. 295 00:12:38,801 --> 00:12:39,889 I'm starting to feel a little like 296 00:12:39,976 --> 00:12:41,586 a very distant cousin. 297 00:12:46,548 --> 00:12:48,898 [sobbing] I miss her so much. 298 00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:51,988 [Lyndsey sighs] 299 00:12:52,075 --> 00:12:54,904 I'd have given odds that I'd be the one crying. 300 00:12:54,991 --> 00:12:56,514 ♪ Men ♪♪ 301 00:13:00,388 --> 00:13:02,042 ♪ Men ♪♪ 302 00:13:02,129 --> 00:13:04,348 Walden, you doing okay in there? 303 00:13:04,435 --> 00:13:06,002 [Walden] 'I'm okay.' 304 00:13:06,089 --> 00:13:08,744 'I just need a minute.' 305 00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:10,790 Maybe this just isn't meant to be. 306 00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:12,226 Why not? 307 00:13:12,313 --> 00:13:13,357 The man is clearly upset. 308 00:13:13,444 --> 00:13:14,663 Oh, boo-hoo. 309 00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:18,014 [door opens] 310 00:13:20,756 --> 00:13:21,713 I'm really sorry. 311 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:24,107 Hey, no need to apologize. 312 00:13:24,194 --> 00:13:25,761 In fact, if it would help 313 00:13:25,848 --> 00:13:28,198 you can close your eyes and pretend I'm Zoey. 314 00:13:28,285 --> 00:13:30,200 - Really? - Of course. 315 00:13:30,287 --> 00:13:31,723 Um, should I pretend you're somebody else? 316 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,725 Do whatever you want. 317 00:13:36,641 --> 00:13:38,643 That's a good idea. Let's-let's try that. 318 00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:40,863 - Attaboy. - Okay. 319 00:13:47,609 --> 00:13:49,002 Oh, Zoey! 320 00:13:49,089 --> 00:13:50,481 [imitating Zoey] Oh, Walden. 321 00:13:50,568 --> 00:13:54,007 Give us a good shagging, won't you? 322 00:13:55,704 --> 00:13:57,619 I can't. 323 00:13:57,706 --> 00:13:59,055 'I can't do this!' 324 00:14:00,970 --> 00:14:03,364 "Give us a good shagging, won't you?" 325 00:14:03,451 --> 00:14:06,715 - What? That's a thing. - It doesn't matter. 326 00:14:06,802 --> 00:14:07,803 Let's just make sure we don't 327 00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:09,326 get a crybaby for my threesome. 328 00:14:09,413 --> 00:14:10,719 Your threesome? 329 00:14:10,806 --> 00:14:11,981 We haven't even had mine yet. 330 00:14:12,068 --> 00:14:13,853 Uh, I beg to differ. 331 00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:15,506 I held up my part of the bargain. 332 00:14:15,593 --> 00:14:16,856 If I serve pie and nobody's hungry 333 00:14:16,943 --> 00:14:19,859 it still counts as dessert. 334 00:14:22,992 --> 00:14:24,776 I suppose. 335 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:25,865 Now what? 336 00:14:25,952 --> 00:14:27,214 Well, not that you care 337 00:14:27,301 --> 00:14:28,302 but I did take a lethal dose 338 00:14:28,389 --> 00:14:31,305 of boner pills before we started. 339 00:14:31,392 --> 00:14:32,610 Is that so? 340 00:14:32,697 --> 00:14:34,569 I'm either going to have sex or a stroke. 341 00:14:38,051 --> 00:14:39,182 Your call. 342 00:14:41,445 --> 00:14:43,186 Come on. Let's go to your bedroom. 343 00:14:43,273 --> 00:14:44,231 Really? 344 00:14:44,318 --> 00:14:45,275 I'd rather take care of you 345 00:14:45,362 --> 00:14:46,320 for the next 20 minutes 346 00:14:46,407 --> 00:14:48,626 than the next 20 years. 347 00:14:48,713 --> 00:14:50,237 That's the spirit. 348 00:14:53,196 --> 00:14:55,720 ♪ Men ♪♪ 349 00:14:55,807 --> 00:14:57,200 It's a beautiful day. 350 00:14:57,287 --> 00:14:58,506 Why don't you go down to the beach 351 00:14:58,593 --> 00:15:00,508 and find some kids to play with? 352 00:15:00,595 --> 00:15:02,162 I don't wanna. 353 00:15:02,249 --> 00:15:03,380 Okay, why don't you 354 00:15:03,467 --> 00:15:04,729 go ride your bike? 355 00:15:04,816 --> 00:15:06,340 I don't feel like it. 356 00:15:06,427 --> 00:15:08,298 Well, you can't sit in the house all day 357 00:15:08,385 --> 00:15:10,126 staring at that computer. 358 00:15:10,213 --> 00:15:11,867 I made a billion dollars doing this. 359 00:15:13,695 --> 00:15:14,870 Carry on. 360 00:15:16,698 --> 00:15:18,918 [Skype caller tone] 361 00:15:21,746 --> 00:15:23,705 - Hi. - Hi. 362 00:15:23,792 --> 00:15:25,446 Great to see you. 363 00:15:25,533 --> 00:15:26,577 What's up? 364 00:15:26,664 --> 00:15:28,275 Well, I got a most interesting 365 00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:30,059 phone call this morning. 366 00:15:30,146 --> 00:15:32,714 From Lyndsey. 367 00:15:32,801 --> 00:15:34,150 Alan's Lyndsey? 368 00:15:34,237 --> 00:15:36,761 The-the one with the drinking problem? 369 00:15:36,848 --> 00:15:38,850 The very same. 370 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:39,939 What she ha.. 371 00:15:40,026 --> 00:15:41,592 What did she want? 372 00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:42,767 Well, she wanted to tell me 373 00:15:42,854 --> 00:15:44,117 in no particular order 374 00:15:44,204 --> 00:15:46,771 that you're a great guy.. 375 00:15:46,858 --> 00:15:49,122 ...that you're still very much in love with me 376 00:15:49,209 --> 00:15:50,819 and that I'm a complete idiot 377 00:15:50,906 --> 00:15:52,212 for breaking up with you. 378 00:15:52,299 --> 00:15:55,737 I am. I am. You are. 379 00:15:55,824 --> 00:15:58,174 You didn't put her up to that call, did you? 380 00:15:58,261 --> 00:15:59,915 No, not at all. 381 00:16:00,002 --> 00:16:01,395 'I do miss you.' 382 00:16:01,482 --> 00:16:03,571 It's been veryhardfor me too. 383 00:16:03,658 --> 00:16:06,922 I was kinda hoping that you'd say that. 384 00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:08,750 So, do you think that-- 385 00:16:08,837 --> 00:16:10,708 You, sir, can make out 386 00:16:10,795 --> 00:16:15,061 with my girlfriend any time you want. 387 00:16:15,148 --> 00:16:16,236 [Alan] You got her so worked up 388 00:16:16,323 --> 00:16:18,281 she humped my brains out. 389 00:16:23,243 --> 00:16:24,505 So, where were we? 390 00:16:24,592 --> 00:16:27,856 I miss you, you miss me, ah.. 391 00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:45,830 [thud] 'Ow! What did I do?' 392 00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:47,963 [thud] 'Ow!' 393 00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:50,009 ♪ Men ♪♪ 394 00:16:50,096 --> 00:16:51,053 Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. 395 00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:52,402 Oh, boy. Oh, boy. 396 00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:54,143 This is just like Christmas morning. 397 00:16:54,230 --> 00:16:56,189 But instead of celebrating the birth of our Lord 398 00:16:56,276 --> 00:16:59,148 little Alan's gonna get some strange. 399 00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:00,671 I know you're excited 400 00:17:00,758 --> 00:17:01,759 but the first step is 401 00:17:01,846 --> 00:17:02,760 selecting the right girl. 402 00:17:02,847 --> 00:17:03,805 Mm. 403 00:17:03,892 --> 00:17:04,849 Hey, what about that 404 00:17:04,936 --> 00:17:05,894 blonde over there? 405 00:17:05,981 --> 00:17:07,330 Eh, I guess. 406 00:17:07,417 --> 00:17:09,245 What's wrong with her? 407 00:17:09,332 --> 00:17:12,553 Well, her outfit's a little matchy-matchy, isn't it? 408 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:14,946 The outfit's going to be on the floor of the bedroom. 409 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:15,991 Well, still, it says something 410 00:17:16,078 --> 00:17:18,211 about her lack of imagination. 411 00:17:18,298 --> 00:17:19,473 Fine. 412 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:20,996 Hey, how about the redhead? 413 00:17:21,083 --> 00:17:22,215 Ooh, redheads. 414 00:17:22,302 --> 00:17:25,174 They do dirty things. 415 00:17:25,261 --> 00:17:27,568 - So, should we approach her? - No, no, hang on. Hang on. 416 00:17:27,655 --> 00:17:30,397 - She's got a tramp stamp. - So? 417 00:17:30,484 --> 00:17:32,573 It's a little skanky, isn't it? 418 00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:34,705 We're trying to invite her to a threesome. 419 00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:36,707 Skanky is good. 420 00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:38,274 You're right. You're right. 421 00:17:38,361 --> 00:17:40,842 Oh, although, she does have cankles. 422 00:17:40,929 --> 00:17:43,323 Skanky cankles. 423 00:17:43,410 --> 00:17:46,674 Isn't that what they call Santa Claus in Norway? 424 00:17:46,761 --> 00:17:47,805 Are you done? 425 00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:49,155 Sorry, just a little case of 426 00:17:49,242 --> 00:17:50,808 the pre-menagejitters. 427 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,551 You do realize if I wasn't here 428 00:17:54,638 --> 00:17:56,031 you couldn't get any of these women? 429 00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:57,424 I'm not so sure about that. 430 00:17:57,511 --> 00:17:59,252 I still have a few moves up my sleeve. 431 00:17:59,339 --> 00:18:00,383 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 432 00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:02,168 Be my guest. 433 00:18:02,255 --> 00:18:04,213 Fine. Okay, watch this. 434 00:18:07,434 --> 00:18:09,305 - Hello. - No. 435 00:18:16,617 --> 00:18:19,054 I'm good with whoever you pick. 436 00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:20,969 ♪ Men ♪♪ 437 00:18:21,056 --> 00:18:22,275 [Alan] 'I-I'm confused.' 438 00:18:22,362 --> 00:18:23,624 The only reason you're doing this 439 00:18:23,711 --> 00:18:25,974 is because it's your husband'sfantasy? 440 00:18:26,061 --> 00:18:27,541 Ex-husband. 441 00:18:27,628 --> 00:18:29,238 [Alan and Lyndsey] Ah. 442 00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:34,200 Wow. What a view. 443 00:18:34,287 --> 00:18:36,463 The view from here is pretty good, too. 444 00:18:36,550 --> 00:18:37,681 Certainly is. 445 00:18:40,031 --> 00:18:42,730 I'm gonna end up watching from the sidelines again, aren't I? 446 00:18:42,817 --> 00:18:44,775 You're lucky you even get to watch. 447 00:18:49,650 --> 00:18:51,478 ♪ Men ♪♪ 448 00:18:51,565 --> 00:18:54,437 Wow! You two look really lovely. 449 00:18:54,524 --> 00:18:56,135 Y-you could actually be sisters. 450 00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:59,268 That is exactly wrong. 451 00:18:59,355 --> 00:19:02,228 Oh, no, I meant, uh, I meant, uh, sisters. 452 00:19:02,315 --> 00:19:06,710 Like, uh,sisters doing it for themselves. 453 00:19:06,797 --> 00:19:10,584 What's the deal? Is he dying and this is on his bucket list? 454 00:19:10,671 --> 00:19:12,803 It's complicated. Just stay focused on me. 455 00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:13,978 Okay. 456 00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:18,244 So, uh, shall we get this party started? 457 00:19:18,331 --> 00:19:21,856 Great, is there somewhere where I can just...freshen up? 458 00:19:21,943 --> 00:19:23,684 Sure, the bathroom's down the hall. 459 00:19:23,771 --> 00:19:25,599 Okay, be right back. 460 00:19:25,686 --> 00:19:26,817 [chuckling] 461 00:19:28,428 --> 00:19:30,908 Um, so, how are we slicing up this pie? 462 00:19:30,995 --> 00:19:31,996 What? 463 00:19:32,083 --> 00:19:33,433 You know, who gets what when? 464 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:34,651 Or we just gonna take shifts 465 00:19:34,738 --> 00:19:36,653 and tap each other out like wrestlers? 466 00:19:39,395 --> 00:19:41,354 - Nice to meet you, too. - Yeah. 467 00:19:41,441 --> 00:19:42,833 So, uh, how do you know Lyndsey 468 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:44,531 and, uh...the old guy? 469 00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:49,927 Oh, Alan? He lives here. This is my house. 470 00:19:50,014 --> 00:19:52,452 No kidding. 471 00:19:52,539 --> 00:19:55,672 Oh, oh and one more thing, um, if I yell "cheeseburger" 472 00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:57,413 it means I'm getting close and you need to whack me 473 00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:59,067 on the back of the head, 'cause I want this to last. 474 00:19:59,154 --> 00:20:00,111 [laughs] 475 00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:02,201 You're so cute. 476 00:20:02,288 --> 00:20:05,291 - I love you. - I love you, too. 477 00:20:06,857 --> 00:20:07,815 Oh, no. 478 00:20:07,902 --> 00:20:09,077 No! 479 00:20:09,164 --> 00:20:10,513 Oh, man! 480 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:12,167 I just cannot catch a break. 481 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,649 ♪ Men ♪♪ 482 00:20:19,261 --> 00:20:21,350 [moaning] 483 00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:27,356 [Alan sighs] 484 00:20:28,618 --> 00:20:30,054 She sounds fun. 485 00:20:32,056 --> 00:20:34,494 Oh, so does he. 486 00:20:37,323 --> 00:20:40,195 You know, if...we...close our eyes 487 00:20:40,282 --> 00:20:41,544 and don't say anything.. 488 00:20:41,631 --> 00:20:43,198 Way ahead of you, Walden. 489 00:20:45,287 --> 00:20:46,419 [Alan] 'Cheeseburger!' 490 00:20:48,116 --> 00:20:49,944 ♪ Men ♪♪ 491 00:20:54,209 --> 00:20:55,906 ♪ Men men men men manly men men men ♪ 492 00:20:55,993 --> 00:20:59,258 ♪ Men men men men manly men men men ♪ 493 00:20:59,345 --> 00:21:02,261 ♪ Men men men men manly men ♪ 494 00:21:02,348 --> 00:21:04,480 ♪ Ooh hoo-hoo hoo-hoo ooh hoo ♪ 495 00:21:04,567 --> 00:21:07,701 ♪ Men men men men manly men men men ♪ 496 00:21:07,788 --> 00:21:10,443 ♪ Men men men men manly men men men ♪ 497 00:21:10,530 --> 00:21:12,619 ♪ Ha ah ha-a-ah ♪♪ Men ♪♪